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Jesse Dekel is an artist and writer based in Montreal, Quebec. She writes about homelessness as well as a litany of degenerate topics appealing to tragediennes who grew up in the New Zealand punk scene. Her interests include shoplifting from record stores, and hitting people with chains. Check out her photography and art at @dzesideckel and her writing at medium.com/@jessedekel.
Every Rose Has it’s Thorne
In light of influencer/struggling actor Bella Thorne’s most recent cry for attention, I’ve debated giving her any more press than she deserves regarding her highly inappropriate grand tour of sex work recently, considering she has proven that any press, in her case, is good press.
Her sentiment to “bring sex work to the mainstream” is nothing short of sacrificial, but I figured it would be beneficial to discuss why this approach is just … wrong. Whether you’re Lady Gaga or Bella Thorne, there’s a non-sex working perspective that always gets voiced when culture vultures like this arise, and there needs to be much more sex-working perspective that counters these common arguments.
“Making sex work mainstream helps break the stigma.”
No, it does not. First of all, sex work will never be “mainstream.” To attempt to make an industry built on discretion, privacy, and intimacy “mainstream,” completely negates the nature of the work itself. Patrons of sex workers pay for confidentiality and to ensure that what happens between them is in trusted company. That is why people pay a lot of money for our services. How much would you pay someone to hold your deepest darkest secrets without a trace of judgement?
Now, this does not mean that representation of sex work in the mainstream media is not important, because it is. Representation of REAL sex work in the mainstream media is extremely important, so it is necessary that it is represented as just that: real. Real stories, real experiences, and real sex workers doing the story telling. Anything else is useless voyeurism. An ex-Disney Channel star that created an account on a subscription site for home-made porn and racked in $2 million in under 48 hours is probably not the most accurate representation of the average OnlyFans content creator, nor is it representative of the experience thousands of sex workers had when transferring to the platform for a means of income during a global pandemic.
“Good for her, getting her money. Women should support women.”
To this point, women shouldn’t step into spaces that other women depend on to pay their bills, especially when doing so takes up the much needed space. Thorne likes to claim that her intention was to bring traffic to the site in support of sex workers already using OnlyFans. This is nothing short of a load of BS, considering that she crashed the site for two days, making it impossible for other creators to access their funds and interact with customers. Not being able to update your feed for a couple of days can be detrimental in the world of digital sex work, as contrary to popular belief, it is a lot of work. Around the clock. You don’t clock in and clock out of your iPhone, especially when money is calling.
“Why are you so mad at Bella Thorne? Shouldn’t you be mad at the pimps and traffickers and horrible club managers? Don’t blame the problems of the industry on her.”
Of course, I’m always mad at the pimps and the “traffickers” (sex work is not sex trafficking, just to clarify) and the shitty club managers. But Bella Thorne isn’t, because these dangerous and unfortunate elements of the job are not an issue, nor ever will be, an obstacle she will have to face. As someone with wealth, an enormous platform, and white privilege, it’s a seamless transition into the world of sex work with essentially zero risk or harmful stigma. The only clap back she may get would be from actual sex workers.
“Onlyfans wasn’t created for sex workers.”
You’re right, it wasn’t. However, how did Onlyfans achieve this level of visibility, site traffic and profit? Benefitting from the labor of sex workers, and allowing sex workers to sell adult content. When physical places of work shut down due to the pandemic, sex workers had no choice but to sell digital experiences, thus creating an influx of sex workers who flooded the platform.
In reality, nothing is made “for” sex workers, given the aforementioned legalities and criminalization of the work. However, to enable uncensored content, and taking 20% of profits made from that content, is inherently encouraging the work. Onlyfans profits (predominantly) from sex worker content, therefore making it a digital strip club in a sense.
Don’t be the person who comes in, orders a cheap beer and says they’re not interested in lap dances.
“What about celebrities that used to be strippers? Are they allowed to wear Pleasers?”
Yes, Lady Gaga openly admits she was a stripper (wearing pasties?) or a “burlesque dancer” in a past life, and that’s why you may see her sporting Pleasers in videos, to the VMA’s or on the Victoria's Secret runway. Don’t even get me started on the fact that a bunch of women walking up and down a glitter platform in lingerie is a celebrated multi-million dollar production, but god forbid there’s a pole at the end of it.
Ex-SWers should be our greatest allies, and it’s not surprising if the beauty of the work inspired their wardrobe or aesthetic. However, when your voice is powerful enough, use it to push for the public demand for decriminalization and repealing harmful legislation like FOFSA/SESTA and the Earn It Act. Appropriation doesn’t pay the bills or protect lives. Open your mouth and your purse.
“But they are allies to the LGBTQ+ and Black and Brown communities. Isn’t that enough?”
There isn’t a check box for each sub-division of every marginalized group where you can pick and choose who you would like to support and who you don’t care for. These groups and movements are intersectional, and if you are to advocate for Black lives, you must also advocate for Black trans lives, and Black trans sex worker lives. Black trans sex workers are the most vulnerable, marginalized and targeted. Not to mention that many Black trans people have turned to sex work due to discrimination in other fields. You cannot support one without the other.
“A celeb doing sex work helps people see it in a different light.”
This “light” is inaccurate and therefore useless. A celebrity cosplaying as a sex worker for quick and easy profit is harmful for the legitimization of sex work as work. Sex work is not easy, fast money as most like to believe. It is an investment with return over time, it is smart management, and it is a means to survival in a capitalist economy. It is physically, emotionally and mentally draining labor that requires thick skin, resilience and self-governing. If that is not what you’re displaying when costumed as a sex worker, turn off the light.
Unfortunately, there has been more harmful than helpful use of sex work culture, aesthetic and ideals in the media and by celebrities, and Bella is just one of many to dip her toes in the water just to pull them out as soon as it gets too cold. Every rose has it’s “thorne,” just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song. And this is just another one of those sad songs.
Here’s to hoping that some wannabe cowboys realize they’re tone deaf and stop singing.
Erika “Kika” is an NYC-based stripper and sex worker, and founder of SUGAR (@sugarwrldwide, sugarworldwide.com) a multi-media platform and brand that focuses on highlighting and amplifying sex worker voices and experiences. Kikas has pivoted in her work since the pandemic, initially doing OnlyFans and digital strip clubs, and eventually transitioning into web design, and expanding on photography, writing and other side hustle
Miina Sayer is a 19 year old artist exploring the world of ethereal beings called “Bloblings”. The beautifully melancholic creatures live in Sayer’s mind and, even with their expressionless faces, show a sense of immense feeling.
“As I often feel a heavy sense of sadness, these drawings are very personal to me. These settings with the creatures are a visual metaphor for mental health and the importance of not having to be happy all the time. The message is that it is ok to express sadness out loud.
I am currently on my Gap Year before enrolling at University to study Product Design, however due to the Coronavirus, many of my plans for my year out have been cancelled. Lockdown was very difficult for my mental health and triggered depression and anxiety. The drawings express the pain and healing that my mind is going through.”